Forgiveness

15


Lune had only arrived back in the jungle the previous night, only to be told of the mournful events following his leaving. Mandy had been so sure that Leo was never coming back, that he eventually decided to tell Lukio that she was most likely never to see her father again. Lukio had felt agonizing sorrow at losing her brother, her mother and now her father. When Lune arrived back, she had been overjoyed to see her brother again although she felt angry with him, for a while, for leaving. But she was so happy to have him back again that her anger didn’t last very long at all. Lune had left the jungle on a whim only to return to a home where his mother had died and his father was as good as dead. He hated himself for what he had done and having arrived back too late.
He missed his mother so much and wished he could speak to her again. He wished he could tell her how sorry he was for leaving and how selfish he had been for having left without a word. He had thought that the human world was so great and wonderful yet what he found was something very different. He found some humans capable of great cruelty and some humans capable of great love. He wouldn’t be here now if Mary hadn’t helped him and he saw his own father lovingly cared for by a human. He was too young and not wise enough to understand humans, perhaps in time he would understand more.
Leo put his paw on Lune’s head and said to him, “Remember, as you deal with humans, that not all humans are bad just as not all animals are good.”
Lukio was looking at her father now with a look of anger on her little face.
Leo heard a soft little whimper from Lukio. “What’s wrong my little Lukio?” asked Leo.
“Mandy told us about the mountain and how no one ever came back from there. You knew you weren’t going to come back. Why did you go? My brother was gone, then Mother died and then you leave me as well! Why did you go and leave me all alone?
I thought you were dead too. Why father?” Lukio lost control of herself and began to whimper loudly as she finished getting it all off her chest.
Leo reached over to Lukio and drew her little body under his head. “My little Lukio, please, please forgive me. My friend Higeo saved all of the animals in the jungle including you and Lune. I was feeling like I owed him so much.” Leo spoke to Lukio trying to hold his own emotion under control. “ When Lune disappeared I was sure I’d lost him, then when your mother died I felt my whole world would end.
But I promised her in heaven that I would take care of you. Then you got sick too.
I didn’t know what to do or how I would live without you.
Then Higeo took away your sickness and cured the others as well. I owed him your life and, in a way, mine too. So I decided to help him because I was grateful to him. I am so, so sorry I hurt you Lukio. Will you forgive me?”
Lukio stood up under her father’s head, licked his chin and all was well again.
Suddenly a loud “snort” sounded and the tension was broken as Higeoyaji blew his nose loudly. “Oh, I, I’m sorry.” said Higeoyaji, looking around over the top of his handkerchief as he noticed that everyone was looking at him.
Leo thought of the other reasons he had gone, but they were too complicated for Lune or Lukio to understand. Someday he’d tell them and they would.
Leo began to tell them of their adventure on the mountain, but for Lukio’s sake, he decided not to mention the part about his attempt to sacrifice himself.
Mostly Leo simplified the story as much as possible for her sake.

16


As Leo spoke Lune got up and walked over to Higeoyaji, never taking his attention off Leo’s story and sat next to him, sometimes looking up at him with Higeoyaji returning the look as the story continued.
Higeoyaji put his hand on Lune’s shoulder and ran his hand along Lune’s side over and over as they all listened to Leo.
Lune liked the sensation of being petted and he felt so very good.

Over the coming days Higeoyaji explored this place he called paradise, sometimes he explored alone and sometimes other animals walked with him, peppering him with questions about himself and what happened on the mountain.
He walked past lions, cheetahs and leopards and they all acknowledged him but kept their distance. Most animals approached him to thank him because almost all of them had been affected by the Purpura and he had inoculated them all.
It felt strange but heart warming to walk around the forest accompanied by so many animals. Sometimes he would reach out to touch them and they didn’t mind at all.
Suddenly, Higeoyaji was confronted by a large male gazelle that stood in his way clearly blocking his path. The other animals around him saw the situation and moved away from him. Higeoyaji didn’t know what to say, this was the first time he’d seen an angry look on any animal in this jungle. The gazelle lowered his head slightly as if to butt him with his horns but continued to stare at him. Higeoyaji began to worry, this animal was angry about something. Then the gazelle spoke. “One of you humans killed my whole family! I want to know WHY?” he said angrily.
Before Higeoyaji had a chance to say anything other animals appeared from the bushes. Two lions, a leopard, a buffalo and several wildebeest stood next to the gazelle and each told him they had family members shot. Then an old female rhino walked in from behind all of them and demanded an answer to why her son was shot too.
Higeoyaji looked at the gathering of angry animals and remembered that it was only Hamegg who was shooting animals that day. All of the others were involved in clearing and burning the bush. Higeoyaji stood up straight and tried hard not to show the fear he was feeling.
“Only one man among us did those terrible things,” he began, as some of the animals puffed and grunted. “ he is now dead on the mountain. I can not speak for the reasons he did those things. Only he knew those reasons. I don’t know why some humans do the terrible things they do.” he said, beginning to soften his posture.
“But I can say that…”he hesitated for a moment thinking which would be the best approach. He felt pity for them, and genuine shame for their losses but he had no answers for such a question. “I can’t answer your question but I can say that…”he said falling to his knees. “I beg forgiveness for the actions of my kind, I beg forgiveness for those that have hurt you and for the terrible things that have been done to you. I beg forgiveness for those of your family that were taken from you. I beg forgiveness for your pain and for your sorrow.”

17


The grieving, angry animals stood silently in front of him for a long time considering his words while Higeoyaji kept his submissive position on the ground.
The old mother rhino was the first to speak. “I can’t speak for all of us either but I can speak for myself. I know that not all humans do such things. I am old and I have seen many humans come and go who have not hurt us or our home. But of all those who have come without hurting us and of those who have come to hurt us you are the only one who has begged forgiveness for some of what we suffer at the hands of humans. I grant you forgiveness, for once revenge begins there can never be an end. You have given me what I wanted, human, my need is satisfied.” The old rhino snorted, turned around and left.
The large male gazelle that had stopped him first thought for a few moments and then also spoke, “Mother rhino is right, he has done me no harm. I also grant you forgiveness, there is nothing more you can give me.” then he, and then slowly all of the others turned and left. Higeoyaji decided to return to Leo’s home, he’d been frightened out of his wits and that had been enough for one day.
By the time he arrived Leo had already heard of what had happened and was anxiously waiting for him.
“Higeoyaji, I am told that some animals stopped you a while ago.” said Leo.
“Yes, but I think it’s all right now.” he answered, wiping the sweat off his face and sitting down on a stone step.
“ I hope you understand, humans have caused a lot of pain and suffering here for a long time. Please forgive them. They would not have harmed you. No one here will harm you.” answered Leo.
Higeoyaji began to rub his eyes and then answered,“ You’ve told me the story of your mother and father. Other animals have told me of their own suffering at the hands of humans, I don’t know if I can carry the burden of all of these terrible things my kind has done.” Higeoyaji continued, “I wish I could undo what has been done, Leo, but I can’t.”
“Higeo, I’m sorry. Their bad feelings will pass, I know.” Said Leo, feeling sorry for him. “It’s alright Leo,” answered Higeoyaji, “I know they don’t blame me. I will listen to the stories and I will bear the anger and sorrow. I have to try to give them something back.”

Two weeks had passed and as soon as it was night time Higeoyaji finally removed the covers from Leo’s eyes for the last time.
By now Leo could already see quite well, at least in the dark.
“Now Leo, I won’t have to put these back on again any more but remember that your eyes haven’t seen the light of day for a long time. Tomorrow it would be best if you stayed inside and let your eyes become used to the light slowly. The day after, you can go outside but stay within the forest.”
Leo had watched Higeoyaji’s human magic cure all the animals from the Purpura, so he was quite willing to follow his advice exactly.
During the time his eyes were covered, Leo had walked with Mandy and Higeoyaji guiding him to all of Leo’s favorite places and Mandy and Leo told him so many stories of the jungle from his father Panja’s time until now. Stories of achievement, of failure, of happiness and sorrow. Of the damage humans had done over the years.

That night Higeoyaji had just lain down to sleep when Leo came to him with a problem.

The Dream became pain.
18


“Higeo?” asked Leo.
“Yes?” answered Higeoyaji, turning onto his side to look at him.
“I….I..once…had a dream.” said Leo, hesitating and lowering his head as if in shame.
“My dream was about something that meant my whole life to me. Yet I was wrong, tragically wrong.”
“What was your dream Leo? What were you so wrong about?” asked Higeoyaji. Leo drew a deep sigh and thought about it before answering, “A long time ago I dreamed that one day humans and animals could live together in peace.” he answered, searching for an answer he knew his friend probably couldn’t give him either.
Higeoyaji sat up to look into Leo’s eyes.
“What happened Leo?” asked Higeoyaji, raising Leo’s head with both his hands.
Leo began, “There was a time when some very bad things happened here and I blame myself. I blame myself for wanting something that I now believe was foolish and can never be.” said Leo, turning around and walking slowly away from Higeoyaji.
“I don’t understand, Leo. What do you blame yourself for?” asked Higeoyaji, getting up to follow him.
Leo bit his teeth hard, thinking of those terrible times, and felt that he still couldn’t bring himself to talk about them.
“I’m sorry, Higeo. I can’t talk about those bad days. It hurts too much.” answered Leo. “What I can say,” he continued, “is that my dream cost us all much more than it should have. I had too much faith in humans, believing that all humans had some good in them that I could reach. I found out I was wrong to have been so trusting. So I gave up my dream. That’s why I did not speak to you until that time on the mountain when I tried to kill myself on your knife.
Losing Liya filled the deepest part of me with such agonizing sorrow. Today I have my children back but I am not as happy as I once was and I know I never will be. When I decided to help you find your stones, it wasn’t only because I was grateful, it was because I had given up my life.
My Liya was gone, Lune was gone and my dream was gone. I foolishly forgot that I still had Lukio. I despaired. I was wrong to despair.”
Higeoyaji realized Leo had something weighing on him terribly but it was something that he wasn’t quite prepared to let out yet.
Higeoyaji thought for a moment and he remembered the pain of losing his own dream. Having to give up something he believed was truly possible and then to accept that it could never be. He still had a pain in his own heart for the loss of his own dream so he began to understand something of what Leo was feeling and said, “Come with me Leo, I have something to show you.”
Lune had shown Higeoyaji where the old plane wreck was because he said this was the place where he had got the idea to leave the jungle from and he was ashamed to come here anymore. Lune also told him of the strange box that made that sound that he loved so much, and how sorry he was that it had been lost in the flood.
There was still just enough light so Higeoyaji decided to take Leo over to the old plane, hopefully to prove a point.

The dream restored. Release.
19


“You see that?” he asked Leo pointing to the old corroded wreck.
“Yes.” he answered, still wondering what point he was going to make.
“Do you know what that is?” asked Higeoyaji still pointing to the old plane.
“Yes, it’s a machine that humans use to fly in.”
“Well, humans didn’t always have those. How long ago do you think it was that the very first human appeared in the world? Can you imagine how long ago that was Leo?”
“No, but it must have been a long, long time.”
Higeoyaji answered,“ Probably longer, Leo, than there have been white lions.” “That’s a long time, Higeo.” answered Leo.
“Well, I’m sure that very first human so long ago looked up at the sky and saw the birds flying and dreamed that he could fly too. That first human dreamed the first dream of flying and that was the very first step towards this machine that flies. The dream to fly took a long time to become real. In fact so long that humans could only build these machines from, say, only few of your grandfathers ago.”
Leo stood there quietly listening and beginning to pick up a hint of what Higeoyaji was getting at. And Higeoyaji could see that Leo was taking great interest in his little story.
“That first man had a dream too,” continued Higeoyaji, “but although he didn’t see his dream come true. It was he who began the dream and took the first step to making that dream real. From that very first man who dreamed until today, humans too have paid a price to make that dream come true. If you want to walk to the other side of Africa, it will be a long and hard journey and it will take you a long time, but if you never take that first step, you’ll never get there. And long before you even get there the journey itself can have many rewards too.” Leo now understood and a wave of happiness came over him as well as a release of guilt. But he kept quiet as Higeoyaji continued.
“It may not be the right time yet for your dream to become real, Leo, just as it wasn’t the right time for that first man to fly, but you have taken the first step just as he did. Even if you do nothing else, you have already dreamed the dream and it has begun to unfold. You may not see it in your lifetime and many white lions may live before it comes true.”
Leo then broke in on Higeoyaji’s advice. “But, Higeo, it takes so long.”
“Yes, it can, but remember that the more worthwhile the dream is, the harder it is to make it come true. In the end the reward will be much greater than the effort you put in.
So don’t forget Leo, if you can dream it, it’s because it’s possible. That first man dreamed of flight and he probably died discourage that he never saw his dream come true. But if he could see the flying machines that humans build today.
Don’t give up your dream Leo, the moment you stop dreaming it, will be the moment it truly dies.”
“It’s such a simple explanation,” Leo thought, “and he’s right.”
For the first time since those dark days Leo felt liberated, in a moment Higeoyaji had released him of his torment. Leo sat down happy and relieved and he breathed a long and deep sigh. A shiver went through him and he felt as though something had departed from him.
“I don’t know if that will help you Leo, I hope it does.” Said Higeoyaji.

20


Leo looked up at Higeoyaji’s face and then stood up on his hind legs and rested his paws on Higeoyaji’s shoulders.
Higeoyaji struggled to keep balanced against Leo’s weight.
Leo stood up just long enough.
“Thank you, my friend Higeo. I wish I could tell you how much your words mean to me,” said Leo, pushing his face against Higeoyaji’s just for a moment and then getting down before his friend would lose his balance.
“I think you just showed me how much. You are most welcome, my friend Leo. Are you alright now?" asked Higeoyaji, kneeling down to Leo’s height.
“I’m better than alright, I feel great. I feel free.”
“I’m glad Leo, let’s go home, before it gets too dark.”
On the way home Higeoyaji thought of his own abandoned dream of finding a wife and having a family.
“Perhaps,” he thought, “I gave up too soon myself. Perhaps I let my own despair beat me. I wish I’d been around to advise myself years ago.”
That night Leo slept next to Higeoyaji and his happy heart dreamed of Liya. He dreamed of their time as youngsters and the first time they met and how they were always there for each other. He remembered that Liya was no slouch when it came to a fight and could match Leo anytime in a play fight and more often than not he would lose.
Sometimes he would let her win, sometimes he would struggle to win and sometimes she would pin him down without hope of escape and then she would prance around him rubbing her victory in and feeling so proud of herself. He remembered how her respect was the most important thing in the world to him and how he tried so hard to win that respect until he realized he didn’t have to.
He dreamed about their later life and how they loved each other so much. He dreamed of their happy times and their sad times and he dreamed of how happy he was the day his children were born. After he saw them for the very first time he ran out from home so happy that he literally bounced as he ran to his favorite cliff top to proclaim his happiness to the whole world. In the end the only thing that could separate them was death.
Leo dreamed freely and happily for the first time in a long time.

Higeoyaji awoke to Leo kicking his legs, twitching, wriggling and whimpering in his sleep and wondered what he could be dreaming of.

In the morning Higeoyaji noticed Leo walking lightly and happily, with perhaps, what looked like a spring in his step. “Well, you look happy this morning.” said Higeoyaji.
At that moment Mandy, Tomy, Coco and the cubs walked in anxious to have their usual breakfast with their father and friend but weren’t seen walking in by Leo or Higeoyaji.
“I am happy, Higeo. I can see.” was all Leo answered. But Leo was also happy because of his release from his torment and the happy dream of Liya he’d had the night before. The moonlight stone was carefully wrapped in Higeoyaji’s medical case and at that moment it slowly dimmed and it’s light was gone.
“How well can you see?” asked Higeoyaji.
“Well, I can see that bunch of tsetse flies on that far wall.” stated Leo.

21


The wall Leo was referring to was at least thirty meters away and covered with moss and lichen.
“How can that be?” said Higeoyaji, squinting to see them himself. “Even with your eyes perfectly well you couldn’t see that.”
“You’re right, Higeo. I was only joking. I really can’t see all those tsetse flies on that wall. There are only two.” answered Leo.
“Oh, I see,” said Higeoyaji, knowing he’d been had. “The lion has a sense of humor does he? Come ‘ere, lion.”
Higeoyaji grabbed Leo in a headlock and rubbed the top of his head with his fist. The two friends play wrestled a little, then Mandy finally announced his presence, “Ahem” coughed Mandy, both looked up to see the group standing there watching them.
Leo stood up, a little embarrassed. “Oh, ah, er..sorry, I was..er..just showing Higeo some of my favorite battle moves.”
Tomy, Coco and the cubs looked at each other and then at them both, quite amused. “Looks to me, like he was showing you,” said Mandy trying to stay serious.
“Huh!” answered Leo walking past Mandy and sat down to eat.
Higeoyaji stood up and walked over to the food and began to eat too. He was also amused at Leo’s reaction.
“Father,” said Lune, “It’s nice to see you happy again.”
Leo looked at Lune, raised his paw and ran it down Lune’s head all the way to his tail, “I am, Lune. Today, I am.”
He then turned to look at Higeoyaji and nodded just a little, and Higeoyaji knew what he meant. Mandy reached out to Leo and put his hand on his mane, “Are you alright now Leo?” he asked, knowing full well what Leo’s problem had been for a long time.
Tomy then added,” Yeah, Leo we were hoping you’d snap out of that one day. I was sad for you when you became sad ever since that bad time.”
Coco too felt he should say something, meanwhile Lukio had brought her food over to Leo and sat in what was now her favorite place in the whole world; under his head.
Leo looked down at Lukio and smiled at her while Coco flapped onto on his back. “Leo, every one in the jungle was sad for you. But no one knew what to do. We watched you all this time getting sadder and sadder and when Liya died we were so afraid for you.
But now, well Leo, I’m so glad you’re happy again.” said Coco.
“My friends it’s good to be happy again. Thank you. I promise you I’ll be back to normal from now on.” said Leo.
After breakfast Higeoyaji and the rest of the group, except for Leo who had to stay indoors, just for today, decided to go for a walk in the forest and were soon joined by many others. It will be good to see the forest again in sunlight, thought Leo.
As the group walked in the forest, Higeoyaji was thinking about him.
His advice had helped him and he really was happier than he had ever seen him before. He was glad that his advice had cleared up what ever was hurting him, but soon he was going to have to talk to him about his return to the mountain to keep his promise.
He was more or less listening to the animals as they spoke to him, but he couldn’t keep his mind off his problem of telling Leo what he had to do.

22


He had never been very good at giving anyone advice so he was surprised at how well his story about the first man to dream of flight had gone. It made Leo happy and as a result the other animals were happy that he was happy.
After everything that he and Leo had suffered on the mountain and the short time he had been in the jungle with him, they had grown close. He had been willing to forfeit his life to save Leo and he would do it again if he had to.
But soon he was going to have to tell Leo where and why he had to go.
Leo had just found the happiness he had lost and Higeoyaji’s heart weighed heavily as he realized how sad this was going to make him; again.
As he walked he thought more and more of his dilemma and the animals soon realized that he was not listening.
Mandy grabbed him by the wrist and shook it to get his attention. “Higeo, what’s wrong?” asked Mandy.
Higeoyaji was brought back down out of his day dream and answered, “I’m sorry Mandy, everyone, I was, some where else. I think I need to be alone for a while.”
“Are you all right, Higeo?” asked Tomy.
“Yes, I’ll be fine, Tomy,” he answered, straightening up Tomy’s hat, just a little, “I hope you don’t mind. I think I’ll just go sit at the waterfall for a while.”
A while turned into dusk and Higeoyaji finally decided he’d better head home before it got too dark to return. The days were hot but the nights were quite cool and he wasn’t dressed for a cool night in the forest.
All day he sat on a rock at the waterfall with the loud roar of high falling water, rushing, thundering to the river below. All day he thought of a thousand possible scenarios.
All of them to minimize the impact on Leo but all to no avail. As he thought, Higeoyaji remained completely unaware that many concerned eyes were watching him.
The one recurring possibility was that he could announce that he had to go back to the institute to report his findings, as well as many other possible excuses. But any excuse was a lie and Higeoyaji came back to that same inescapable conclusion every time.
He knew that he had to climb Mount Moon again to return the stone and die.
He knew that this was going to make Leo and certainly a lot of the other animals sad. Yes, he could just make up any excuse, they would all believe him, and they had all learnt to trust him. But he knew, above all, that he didn’t want the last thing he ever said to Leo to be a lie. If he had to hurt Leo, and that was inevitable, he knew that the only honorable way to hurt him was with nothing less than the truth.
On the way home he concluded that he would tell Leo the truth, but leave out certain points that would be of no value or at least those points that would hurt him more than was absolutely necessary.

Not the full truth but not a lie either.




Part 5